I’ve been a little behind on blogging lately – I’ll spare you the details, but last weeks have consisted of some work things rearing their ugly heads, a handful of anxiety attacks over upcoming changes, and some very unpleasant dental work. All of that has left me a little drained, or at least not quite as happy and inspired as I like to be.
sarah kate style just turned three a few weeks ago, and I’m now getting a little reflective. I’m giving myself s small pat on the back for posting so much this summer, but now I’m going to cut myself a little slack. I plan out posts a month in advance, and I tell myself to stay as far ahead of schedule as I can. But then some posts I end up not wanting to do, or I can’t do them as well as I’d like, and then I feel a little guilty, and I usually have no alternative ideas. If I let myself, I go crazy with my blog. And it’s draining. A post that takes a few hours to create gets published and read in a few minutes, and is just as quickly forgotten. Doing that every day can drive you a little mad. I don’t like that, so I’m not going to make myself spend hours in front of the computer if I know it won’t make me happy. Because – and I knew this, I think, but I just said it out loud to myself when I was thinking about my blog last weekend – I don’t want blogging to be my job. Not that I’m in a position where I have to make that choice, but it’s a bit of a relief to recognize that that’s not my goal and I can relax. I started this blog as an outlet (funny how you see that line on so many small blogs, but really, my guess is about half of them want to be full-time bloggers) and I want to fully return to a schedule and content that makes me happy, which maybe means I won’t post every day.
And then, personally, my schedule this summer has left me feeling a little meh. I thought I’d try holding myself to a strict list of deadlines and to-dos this summer, each hour or so having its own activity. And it worked great for a while, but now I’m finding myself uninspired by it. Some days instead of returning to my desk, I’d waste an hour or so online, or watching TV, and end up feeling terribly unproductive and tired and sad, and not get anything done at all. And that’s another thing – I’m feeling almost a little attacked by social media and how superficial it all is, not to mention that there’s always a TV show or movie I should be watching, a blog to catch up on, Internet black holes like Buzzfeed that can snatch all of your free time…so I’m going to be more intentional about the things I take in during the day, so I’m less overwhelmed and less drained, and so that I can ultimately get more done.
I actually wrote all of that a week ago, and it’s taken me this long to get over my inspirationless slump and post it. I have a few more ideas now and some motivation to get back to posting. I’ve been resetting myself with little indulgences like watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a scone on a rainy day and a leisurely backyard picnic. Those things work wonders.
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