Two years. It’s amazing to me how fast the time seems to go. And yet, I recently looked back at some of my first posts in hopes of becoming inspired to work hard on this blog again, and I thought: wow, have I changed. It’s inexplicable. I remembered how I felt when I wrote each and every post, and even more clearly I remember how I felt in the spaces in between. Stress. Falling outs with friends. Relationships. Happiness, adventure, excitement. It all seems like it happened just moments ago, but when I look at where I am now, it couldn’t feel further away from the present.
I started sarah kate style just four days after my birthday, so the blog’s anniversary has always been a time for me to reflect on the past year and see how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown and changed. I feel really good about where I am right now. I haven’t felt this good in a while. It most definitely has to do with the weather (sunshine makes me feel alive like nothing else). And on my recent vacation, I met some amazing people and saw and did and learned so many amazing things. I feel so immensely inspired right now, and I can’t wait to channel that into this blog. I feel different, and it’s a really good different. Life feels different in other places and I want to hold on to that for as long as I can.
On the day I flew back home, I woke up knowing that I need to change little things in my life. I made a list of the things I hope to do, to better myself and my world, and have slowly started to cross items off. I began with the hardest one – apologizing. I’ve never said it on this blog: I don’t admit defeat. I don’t admit I was wrong, or that I did anything out of place. It’s a character flaw and it’s one that I can’t change easily. But something inside me snapped, and told me that I couldn’t live with holding grudges against people. It’s not healthy. It doesn’t feel good. And I lost some of the people I was closest to. So I said I was sorry, and left it at that. It is slow to rebuild things from rubble, but you have to start sometime. And I think it will be worth it in the end.
It feels a little out of place to be writing all of this on here, but my heart feels so full that I can’t help but want to share my joy with you, with anyone who reads this. Life is constantly moving and changing and evolving, so there’s no guarantee that I’ll feel this content for long, or that I’ll even feel this way next week. But I’m not going to spend precious time worrying about the future.
I mentioned back in this post how 2014 is my year of taking chances. That was put on pause after a few things didn’t quite work out the way I wanted them to, but I’ve begun to unintentionally realize that goal again. So my advice is this: do something that scares you. It doesn’t have to be big, but just try something that you wouldn’t have otherwise done. Maybe it will pay off, or maybe it will just teach you to not do whatever it was a second time.
Anyway, to move back to the blog: I’m so excited by all of the possibilities ahead. I have lots of things planned that I just can’t wait to get started on and share with you. This blog is my outlet and I am so grateful that people enjoy it. Thank you for reading, supporting and following me. Here’s to many more years ahead!
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